The Meadows Blog

Monday, 09 May 2016 00:00

If Nothing Changes, Nothing Changes

Natalie felt lost. She didn’t quite understand why, but everything just felt wrong somehow. Even though it was hard for her to admit that she needed help, she reached out.

She found The Meadows Survivors workshop where, for the first time, she began to understand where she came from, where she was going, and where she wanted to be.

Survivors I is an essential component of The Meadows inpatient treatment programs. It is also offered as a stand-alone workshop for anyone who’s interested in learning more about the ways in which self-defeating thoughts and behaviors learned in childhood continue to affect their daily lives.

The intensive, 5-day workshop helps participants identify their specific emotional wounds and understand the impact they have had on their self-esteem, boundary system, level of dependency, and ability to achieve balance and harmony. For more information call 800-244-4949.

Published in Workshops
Saturday, 07 May 2016 00:00

Forgiving Your Mother… and Yourself

Mother’s Day is time to celebrate and show our love and appreciation to our mothers, grandmothers, and female caretakers. However, many of us—in fact probably most of us—have complicated relationships with our mothers. Even if our mothers were well-intentioned, they may not have been able to provide us with what we needed emotionally, because they were stuck living out their own unresolved pain and childhood trauma.

Your early relationship with your mother, without a doubt, had a profound impact on who you are today, in ways both positive and negative. It’s important to always be grateful and appreciative for the gifts we did get from our mothers. But, it’s equally important to non-judgmentally take a look at some of the negative beliefs they may have unintentionally passed onto us, because these beliefs can have a profound impact on the people we are today.

Facing the Mother Wound

Oftentimes, at the center of our feelings of disempowerment and emptiness—feelings that themselves are often at the core of addiction, depression, anxiety and other behavioral disorders—is the mother wound. The mother wound is the emotional trauma that your mother was unable to heal within herself and passed down to you.

The mother wound begins to develop at a very young age. It consists of that untrue and harmful beliefs that you were responsible for your mother’s pain and that it was your job to make your mother happy by being “good.”

The mother wound often is the source of emotional pain you may feel from comparison (not feeling good enough); shame (the constant feeling that there is something wrong with you); attenuation (the belief that you have to keep yourself small or hidden in order to be loved); and guilt (feeling bad about what you have, or feeling bad for wanting more than you have.) If you carry this wound with you, you may find yourself struggling day-to-day in the following ways:

  • You tolerate a lot of mistreatment from others.
  • You feel overly-competitive with other people.
  • You sabotage yourself in your career, relationships, and pursuits of personal fulfillment.
  • You are overly rigid or domineering.
  • You are overly empathetic and deferential, failing to meet your own needs in favor of others’.
  • You hold back or hide your true self, so not to threaten or offend others.
  • You struggle with addiction, depression, eating disorders and other behavioral health issues.

Most mothers do want to see their children find happiness and succeed. But, if your mother did not come to terms with her own pain and emotional trauma, nor come to terms with the emotional sacrifices she had to make in becoming a mother, her interactions with you may have included subtle messages that caused you to feel guilt, shame, or obligation.

Before a mother can prevent passing down her wounds to her children, she has to fully grieve and mourn her own losses. She also has to make sure she does not rely on her children as her or only or primary source of emotional support or fulfillment.

Face Your Pain

Many people feel especially uncomfortable addressing the pain they inherited from their mothers. Oftentimes, it is because of the very sense of obligation we feel from our mother wound to be the person who always builds her up, and never tears her down. It is, however, entirely possible to heal your own pain without blaming or hating your mother. In fact, once you have faced and released your own pain, you may find it easier than ever to forgive your mother’s shortcomings and fully appreciate the totality of your relationship with her, both good and bad.

The past is never past. It lives on, every day, in the relational and emotional challenges you face in the ultimate pursuit of inner peace and fulfillment. If you avoid dealing with the pain leftover from what is perhaps the most foundational relationship of your life, you miss the chance to discover your true self and live up to your real, and enormous, potential.

Where Do I Start?

If you’re ready to address and move beyond your childhood trauma, we recommend our renowned Survivors I workshop. In a safe, supportive environment, Survivors I explores the origins that fuel self-defeating behaviors such as addictions, trauma, mood disorders, and troubling relationships. Childhood wounding up to age 18 is approached with compassion and skills are taught in order to re-parent yourself. The primary focus of this workshop is processing and releasing the negative messages and emotions that were rooted in painful experiences from the past allowing the freedom to embody your authentic self.

For more information, call us at 1-800-244-4949 or contact us online.

Published in Relationships

“I checked myself in because I think I was at point in my life when I needed something to change…”

These were the words of Michael Phelps, the most decorated Olympian in history, in an interview with Matt Lauer on The Today Show. But, they are also the words of so many people in recovery as they look back on a very difficult time in their lives, and their decision to enter treatment.

Michael Phelps

 

Watch the interview here.

Even people who have achieved tremendous success in their lives can have a lot of hidden pain. When left unaddressed, that pain can—and often will—lead to problems with drugs, alcohol, pornography, sex, depression, anxiety, and other behavioral health issues.

Our treatment programs specialize in helping people find the root causes of their daily emotional struggles and develop healthier coping skills for the immense pressures and scrutiny they often face. If you feel that you, or a loved one, are racing toward disaster, give us a call at 1-800-244-4949. 

Published in Treatment & Recovery
Tuesday, 26 April 2016 00:00

Summer Workshops at The Meadows

Renew your mind, body and spirit this summer with an intensive workshop at the Rio Retreat Center at The Meadows. We combine our expert-led therapeutic workshops with Yoga, Tai Chi, expressive arts, acupuncture, equine therapy, evening social events, and a beautiful, serene desert landscape to facilitate holistic healing.

Register Today!

Book your stay at a nearby resort, or at our brand new Bunkhouse. Register between now and June 30 and receive a 25 percent discount on registration fees.

Rio Retreat at The Meadows Summer Workshop Calendar

For more information, or to register, call 800-244-4949.

MAY 2016

Every Week: Survivors I
Scheduled Upon Request: Family Workshop
May 9 - 13: Mind & Heart: A Mindful Path to Wholehearted Living
May 9 - 13: Strengthening Coupleship: Working Together
May 15 - 19: Discovery to Recovery: For Couples Healing From Sex Addiction, Intensive 2
May 16 - 20: Love Addiction/Love Avoidance
May 23 - 27: Men's Sexual Recovery
May 30 - June 3: Survivors II
May 30 - June 3: Healing Intimate Treason: For Partners of Sex Addiction

JUNE 2016

Every Week: Survivors I
Scheduled Upon Request: Family Workshop
June 6 - 10: Strengthening Coupleship: Working Together
June 13 - 17: Love Addiction/Love Avoidance
June 13 - 17: Men's Sexual Recovery
June 20 - 24: Discovery to Recovery: For Couples Healing From Sex Addiction, Intensive 3
June 20 - 24: Living in Abundance: Balancing Work, Money and Relationships
June 27 - July 1: Living in Abundance: Balancing Work, Money and Relationships
June 27 - July 1: Survivors II

JULY 2016

Every Week: Survivors I
Scheduled Upon Request: Family Workshop
July 4 - 8: A Man's Way Retreat
July 11 - 15: Men's Sexual Recovery
July 11 - 15: Journey of a Woman's Heart: Finding True Intimacy
July 11 - 15: Strengthening Coupleship: Working Together
July 18 - 22: Healing Intimate Treason: For Partners of Sex Addiction
July 18 - 22: Love Addiction/Love Avoidance
July 25 - 29: Discovery to Recovery: For Couples Healing From Sex Addiction, Intensive 1

AUGUST 2016

Every Week: Survivors I
Scheduled Upon Request: Family Workshop
August 1 - 5: Healing Heartache: A Grief and Loss Workshop
August 1 - 5: Men's Sexual Recovery
August 8 - 12: Strengthening Coupleship: Working Together
August 8 - 12: The Betrayal Bond: Breaking Free of Exploitive Relationships
August 15 - 19: Mind & Heart: A Mindful Path to Wholehearted Living
August 15 - 19: Survivors II
August 22 - 26: Love Addiction/Love Avoidance
August 22 - 26: Men's Sexual Recovery
August 29 - September 2: Healing Intimate Treason: For Partners of Sex Addiction

About The Rio Retreat Center at The Meadows

Since the 1980s, The Meadows has been the forerunner in providing intensive workshops that transform lives. Our new Rio Retreat Center at The Meadows offers a variety of unique workshops available to all interested individuals. All workshops are led by world class Meadows clinicians, as well as industry leaders from around the country who specialize in specific areas of professional growth.

Published in Workshops

In a recent video from PESI Inc., Dr. Bessel van der Kolk— a Senior Fellow at The Meadows— explains how yoga traditions can help prevent psychological trauma patients from getting stuck during the course of their treatment.

Traumatized people’s bodies get rewired in a way that makes them feel that they are constantly in danger. They get tightness in their chests, they feel restless, agitated, and unable to focus. This makes it necessary for them to explore how they can find stillness and become more present in the here and now.

Two major avenues for learning how to quiet your mind and body are movement and breath. Yoga and Tai Chi are both traditions that use movement and breath to help people improve their interoception, or sense of the body from within.

Learn more from Dr. van der Kolk about the role yoga and interoception can play in healing from trauma in this brief video:

Trauma Yoga 

http://trauma.kajabi.com/sp/39590-the-meadows

If you’re a behavioral health professional, check out Dr. van der Kolk’s 6-week Intensive Trauma Treatment Course to take a deep dive into numerous effective trauma treatment modalities. Register today, because spaces are limited.

Published in Trauma

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