Behavior in families that contain trauma can range from rigid and controlled to ungoverned chaos. It’s dizzying for family members who see one thing but sense another. The family may achieve “normalcy” or more accurately a homeostasis that serves to reduce anxiety, by denying their pain and entering a cooperative delusion. Because the family members are denying the pain and fear that they carry, the inner world and the outer world don’t match up properly, what they see does not synch up with what they sense and feel and as a result family members feel as if they cannot trust their own perceptions or what others say.
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